Just One More Piece...

I've really been trying to listen to my hunger cues. Sounds pretty easy, right? Wrong. I realized  I wasn't very successful when I felt like I went from fine to famished in a matter of minutes. It's a lot harder to listen to your body when you've either been stuffing yourself or dieting (which is pretty much how it's been since I started college). I don't know how to tell when I'm just hungry. However, with that said I do believe I've begun to understand my body's signal for me being satisfied (not stuffed).

Tonight my husband ordered pizza. In the past I would just keep eating and eating pizza until it was gone. Why? Because I would tell myself each time that we had pizza that it would be my last time eating pizza. However, tonight I understood that if I told myself it was "the last time" it would be a lie. I've allowed  myself to eat what I really want to eat. And you know what? I ate HALF of ONE slice. I genuinely just didn't want any more.

I know I'm just beginning on this journey to a healthy relationship with food, but I am proud for the progress I've already made.

Turns out, I didn't even really want it

It's been a while since I've written about Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, but not to worry,  I have been reading it. I tell you what, my view of food has really changed.

For example, last night my husband took me on a date to the movies. On past dates I would consistently get candy to munch on during the movie, because that's what you do at movies. It's an excuse to sneak in some "bad" foods. Well when I went to the snack bar to get some bottled water I looked at all the candy they had to offer. I thought of what each would taste like and pondered if it would be something I would enjoy. In the end I really didn't feel like eating candy and just got my water. Not because I was trying to be "good," but because I am trying to listen to my body and that just really wasn't what I was in the mood for.  In fact we had just had dinner, so really I wasn't even hungry at all. In the past I would have just gotten the candy anyway and munched on it without thinking. What a great change!

What Not to Wear

Ok I know I've been slacking in the posting area, and where have I been? Watching TLC's  What Not to Wear. I am enthralled. I thought I dressed alright, but when they brought in a girl with a similar body build to my own and a similar wardrobe, I knew I needed a change.

After having two kids my body just isn't the same as it was when I was in college. Bottom line? Low-risers just don't  look good on my anymore! Even if they are the right size I still look like I've got a muffin top. I blamed myself for not looking cute in low-rise jeans, but I've now learned that if something doesn't look good on my it's not me, it's the clothes! Duh, right? But how many of us blame ourselves when the clothes don't fit? Now the fit of low-rise jeans may just be because my stomach hasn't toned up yet since my last pregnancy, we'll see. But for now I've moved onto mid-rise.

The other day there was a What Not to Wear marathon and after a few episodes I decided I really needed to go shopping. My favorite rule from this show is dress for the way your body is now, not how you think it should be. In other words, don't worry about the size! If it fits right but is a bigger size well ends up you'll look skinnier! That night I went shopping and tried on every style of jeans in Old Navy, in a few different sizes. I discovered I'm in between sizes (awesome). However, an hour and twenty pairs of jeans later I found a pair that didn't give me funny rolls or lines!

I was so inspired by my marathon I even bought a new shirt with a very flattering neck line and a big belt at the waist. Now I want to redo my whole wardrobe, but we'll take it one piece at a time.

Rebel Without a Cause

The other night I went to the kitchen for a small snack before bed. Why? Because I was hungry and I'm trying to listen to what my body is telling me. I grabbed some whole grain Wheat Thins and some cheddar cheese. Nothing "bad." From our living room I hear "you know you really shouldn't eat after 8." I tell my husband that I'm trying to listen to my body. He said it didn't matter, that eating after 8 was bad. So the next night what did I do? Sneak about in my kitchen eating kettle corn.

Even though my husbands intentions were well meant all it really made me want to do was eat. Why? I don't like people telling me what to do. I mean, really, who does? There are times when my husband will be eating junk food and I'll ask if I can have some and he won't let me, telling me that he's doing it for me and I'll thank him someday. So what do I do? I find a way to get it from him and then eat more than I probably would have just to spite him. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband very much and know he wants me to be healthy. That's not the issue. The issue is he is trying to take control of my health instead of letting me. Like a said, no one likes being told what to do.

I used to think that having him "help" me would be better. But now I see that the independent (rebellious) woman in me just won't sit by and be told what to do. It is up to me to take control, and while I need the support of my family and friends, I don't need them telling me what and how to do it.

huh

Turns out, frosting by itself also makes me feel gross. Now I know.

Let Them Eat Cake

I learned something today. I really don't like cake. I already knew it wasn't my food of choice, but now I'm officially declaring, I don't like it. I went to a wedding today and when I was leaving I thought about how I was feeling in regards to what I ate. I felt gross. So I dug a little further and thought about when I started feeling that way and what I'd eaten leading up to that. The wedding cake was the culprit.

How often do we eat cake because it's what the occasion calls for? It's a birthday? Ok, let's have cake! A wedding? Cake! Anniversary? Cake! How many of us really enjoy it? Well I don't. Therefore I'm not going to eat it anymore. I don't have to eat it just because that's what I'm "supposed" to do.

Dieting Rules

I recently got this comment on my blog "I have a problem at night wanting something cold and sweet so I thought I would try brushing my teeth right after supper and maybe it would prevent the craving." To this reader I am going to say NO! Just a few weeks ago I was using this dieting trick myself, and it doesn't really work. Here's why, when we using dieting gimmicks we fall harder when we fall. Dieting gimmicks just add to the last supper syndrome. Pretty soon you'll just be eating more before you brush your teeth because you know once you brush your teeth 
you won't be allowed to eat anymore.

When I talked about the dieting backlash described in Intuitive Eating (see chapter 1) I talked about dieting bringing on binges and cravings. They also explain that this happens because I deny myself what I really want. So I make it up by eating other "better" things. The next thing I know I've been munching on things for an hour instead of just eating the half cup of ice cream that I wanted and been done eating.


Since I've started reading Intuitive Eating I ask myself two questions when I go into the kitchen. First is the most important "am I really hungry?" and then if I am I ask "what do I really want?" By asking these two questions I stop myself from eating when my body doesn't need to, and I am fulfilling those cravings and not eating more than I really need. Already I feel happier about my heating habits and feel happy. I'm not constantly thinking about food! 

Intuitive Eating: Chapter 2

What Kind of Eater Are You?

In this chapter Tribole and Resch describe three different eating personalities. Of the three I fit in two of them. Don't ask me how it happened, but this is the case.

The first personality is the careful eater, so NOT me.

The second personality is the Professional Dieter. A Professional dieter is defined as a "chronic dieter makes every eating choice for the sake of losing weight, not necessarily for health" (pg. 11). When I'm not pregnant I'm obsessed with losing weight. When I was pregnant I was thinking about when I would have the baby and could start dieting again. Which of course brought on the last supper syndrome (which occurred pretty much every day of my last trimester).

The third personality is the Unconscious Eater. This is divided further into 4 sub-groups. The first is Chaotic. A busy person that eats whatever is fastest and available. This describes me not because my life is crazy busy, but rather because I just don't want to cook unless I have a specific meal planned and all the ingredients ready to go. The next sub group is Waste-Not. This is the dollar value eater (see what doesn't go to waist). Then there is Refuse-Not. If there's food around I'll munch on it, especially if it's yummy ingredients while I'm cooking. And lastly is Emotional. Eat to deal with life (see roll over and play dead).

The goal of this book is to teach me how to move away from these personalities and embrace the Intuitive Eater.